Weird Quirks and Traits: Is it ADHD/AuDHD?
This episode started with a simple question I asked on social media: “What’s a weird habit of yours that you wonder if it’s tied to your ADHD/AuDHD?”
Hundreds of responses came in. The traits or quirks that I read were hilarious, heartbreaking, and very relatable to me.
I hand-picked 60 traits to analyze and let you know if this could be related to being an ADHD/AuDHD human.
While these behaviors might sound random or odd, or overly specific to a neurotypical, they’re loaded with meaning once you understand how a neurodivergent brain works.
This is part one of a three-part series.
Episode 54 (part 1) theme: Having trouble with TV shows ending, wanting spoilers for books and movies, and an intolerance of awkward moments.
In episode 54, we’re talking about:
Very real coping strategies, stims, sensory preferences, executive function workarounds, and emotional regulation tools that we do as ADHD and AuDHD adults
Whether each trait is more common for ADHD, AuDHD, or both
I get into the neuroscience, the expert research, and the lived experience that explain why these behaviors are so common among ADHD and AuDHD humans.
I hope this episode helps you feel seen, informed, and maybe even a little proud of how creative your nervous system really is.
Listen below, stream it on your favorite podcasting app, or scroll to access the full blog post.
Weird Quirks and Traits of ADHD & AuDHD?
1. Devouring a Book but Refusing to Read the Last 10 Pages / Avoiding Final Episodes of Shows
Many people with ADHD report avoiding the endings of books or shows they love.
At first glance, it may seem like sentimentality, but there is deeper neurobiology and psychology at work.
The loss of connection to characters or narratives creates a discomfort that is easier to avoid by not finishing.
Why this happens…
Emotional Dysregulation:
Dr. Thomas Brown, in Smart but Stuck, explains that individuals with ADHD often struggle to regulate emotions related to transitions and endings.
Sure, neurotypical people may feel bittersweet closure; however, ADHD brains often experience endings as a kind of loss.
ADHD involves dysregulation in the prefrontal and limbic systems; so, even minor endings can feel overwhelming, especially when they disrupt a source of emotional stability or joy.
Dopamine & Reward System:
The ADHD brain operates with an underactive dopaminergic system.
This creates the risk of reward prediction error. If the brain predicts that the payoff of finishing a book or show will not match the emotional investment, it may avoid the final chapter altogether.
This is a self-protective move to prevent disappointment or a dopamine crash.
Object Permanence:
For many ADHDers, once something ends and is out of sight, such as a character, a story, or a routine, it may feel permanently gone.
Avoiding endings can therefore be a way of staying emotionally tied to the story.
Key Takeaway:
Clinically, this behavior is not dysfunctional; it is a form of self-regulation. Dr. Ari Tuckman [highlight to add link] reminds clients that:
“Emotional regulation is just as much a part of executive function as task initiation or organization.”
Avoiding the end of something beloved can protect emotional energy, prevent grief-like states, and extend the good feeling of connection for a little longer.
Trait = ADHD
2. Re-Reading the Same Comfort Books Every Year
Many ADHDers report reading the same books repeatedly, sometimes every year.
This isn’t procrastination or stuckness. It’s a deeply intuitive coping tool.
What might look like avoidance to others is, for many ADHDers, a well-earned moment of peace, connection, and emotional grounding.
Why this happens…
Emotional Regulation & Cognitive Relief:
In a world that feels disorganized, overwhelming, or unpredictable, returning to a familiar narrative provides structure, rhythm, and psychological safety.
The predictability reduces the demand on working memory and allows the brain to enter a calm, semi-automatic state, something ADHD brains crave when overstimulated.
Need For External Structure:
According to Dr. Kathleen Nadeau, co-author of ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, ADHD adults often create “external structure” to support their internal chaos.
Comfort books are an example of this. They provide a reliable emotional arc without the overwhelm of newness or the executive function load of decision-making.
You already know the ending. You know the world, so this allows your brain can rest.
Refueling Zones:
Dr. Edward Hallowell, a leading expert on ADHD, has written about the deep need for “refueling zones”—places or activities where an ADHD brain can recharge.
Re-reading a favorite book satisfies this perfectly, as it’s immersive, pleasurable, and doesn’t require the energy of learning something new.
This is especially relevant for people with rejection sensitivity or sensory overload, who find new narratives emotionally taxing.
Dopamine Regulation:
Novelty usually triggers dopamine, but in overstimulated or dysregulated ADHDers, the brain can’t always tolerate or process new stimulation.
Instead, the comfort of certainty creates a slow, steady dopamine release, a safer option than chasing novelty when already fatigued.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD
3. Hoarding Unread Books + Sampling First & Last Lines
When I’m thinking of buying a book, I read the first and last line. If both intrigue me, I buy it. Meanwhile, I’m constantly checking out new books from the library, even though I have a stack of unread ones at home.
Why this happens:
Dr. Kathleen Nadeau describes that people with ADHD tend to be “collectors of potential,” often more excited by the possibility of something than the sustained experience of using it.
It’s a quick hit of dopamine, helping make a choice when the brain struggles to commit.
Checking out new books while owning unread ones aligns with what Dr. Thomas Brown calls “activation energy deficits”. You want to read, but ADHD makes it harder to enter the mental state needed to begin, even with things you’re excited about.
Cognitive comfort in being surrounded by potential stories. For many ADHDers, unread books aren’t clutter; they’re imagined experiences, emotional safety nets, and symbolic of curiosity.
Relate to anxiety or emotional regulation. Many ADHD and AuDHD individuals find endings emotionally intense or destabilizing. Knowing the outcome can be an emotional buffer.
Takeaway:
This behavior is not flakiness. It is a blend of dopamine hunting, emotional foresight, decision support, and curiosity.
For ADHD and AuDHD brains, it is a functional way of navigating attention, emotion, and choice.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD
4. Reading Plot Recaps First / Skipping Distressing Scenes
Before watching a show, you may read the recap first. If it looks like a storyline will be upsetting, such as a character death, betrayal, or wrongful accusation, you may skip ahead or avoid watching it altogether.
Why this happens:
Narrative Control and Emotional Self-Regulation
People with ADHD and Autism often experience high emotional reactivity, especially to injustice, betrayal, or abrupt emotional shifts.
Dr. Mona Delahooke explains that neurodivergent brains are more likely to experience stress from “emotional whiplash,” especially when helplessness or shame is involved.
Reading recaps gives the nervous system a chance to brace before being hit with distressing content. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory shows that foreknowledge can reduce dysregulation by helping the body stay in a state of safe engagement.
Justice Sensitivity
ADHDers often default to black-and-white thinking when emotionally charged, leading to strong identification with misunderstood or falsely accused characters.
For neurodivergent viewers, it doesn’t just look unfair; it can feel like a personal attack to witness someone treated unfairly, even in fiction.
Takeaway:
Skipping scenes or previewing shows is not avoidance; it’s emotional pacing.
What others might see as “too sensitive” is actually a strategy for preserving emotional energy.
Previewing ensures that stories are consumed in a way that feels safe, stable, and manageable.
Trait = AuDHD
5. Starting a Sketchbook from the Back
Instead of starting on the first page of a sketchbook, you might flip to the back and begin there.
You may have explained this as a way to show off your best work first, but in reality, it’s about lowering the pressure of starting.
Why this happens:
Performance Anxiety, Perfectionism & Resistance to Beginnings
Dr. Sharon Saline explains that many ADHDers struggle with starting something new because beginnings feel pressure-filled: they represent permanence, visibility, and the unknown.
Starting a sketchbook “backwards” is a way to deactivate the pressure of page one.
Flipping Structure To Create Safety
When you start at the back, you’re giving yourself the illusion of non-linearity.
This tricks the brain out of binary thinking—“this must be good or bad”—and instead allows more play and less scrutiny.
Dr. Devon Price, in Unmasking Autism, talks about how autistic people often develop backward or “non-normative” ways of engaging with creativity to circumvent anxiety around expectations.
Private To Public Control
ADHDers often create in secret until they’re ready to reveal something.
By starting at the back, you're effectively hiding early drafts from even your future self—giving you more time to build confidence before being “seen.”
Creativity Isn’t Linear
Dr. Ned Hallowell writes that ADHD creativity is "radial, not vertical". Ideas emerge from everywhere, not step-by-step.
So this reversal isn't weird, but deeply aligned with how divergent brains produce work.
Takeaway:
You’re not disorganized. You’ve created a container where creativity can breathe—without the crushing weight of first impressions.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD
6. Extreme Sensitivity to Secondhand Embarrassment & Cringe
Secondhand embarrassment is a strong emotional response that many people experience, but in ADHD and AuDHD individuals, the reaction can be overwhelming and even physically distressing.
Why this happens:
According to Dr. William Dodson, people with ADHD experience “rejection sensitivity dysphoria,” an intense emotional pain triggered by perceived criticism or embarrassment.
This heightened social sensitivity can extend into what we call “mirrored emotional experiences”, where your nervous system interprets fictional or observed discomfort as if it’s happening to you.
So watching cringe moments on TV isn't just awkward, it’s truly unbearable.
This is tied to mirror neurons - brain cells that activate both when you act and when you watch someone else act.
Research shows that neurodivergent brains may interpret this input differently, which leads to stronger identification with other people’s emotions.
A 2019 review in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews [highlight to add link] linked this to heightened empathic distress in autistic individuals.
We essentially feel secondhand embarrassment because:
RSD makes social discomfort feel more painful
Mirror neurons increase empathic identification
Uncertainty adds emotional load
Visceral emotional processing intensifies the reaction
Takeaway:
This is not oversensitivity, it is a nervous system that reacts deeply and quickly to social and emotional cues.
What looks small to others feels big because of how your brain processes the moment.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD (often stronger in AuDHD)
7. Rewatching Shows To Manage Emotional Overwhelm
Rewatching familiar shows is one of the most widely reported coping strategies among ADHD and AuDHD individuals.
Why this happens:
Dr. Ned Hallowell calls this comfort repetition, which is a way to regulate nervous system overstimulation with something predictable and safe.
When you know what is going to happen, your brain can relax instead of bracing for surprises.
Dr. Thomas Brown’s executive function model shows that ADHD brains struggle with emotional self-regulation and shifting attention between emotional states.
New content can be overstimulating or too intense, which makes predictable shows feel safer.
ADDitude Magazine highlights that many ADHD adults say familiar shows are “the closest thing to rest their brain can get while still being entertained.”
To put it simply, rewatching:
Reduces decision fatigue
Prevents emotional hijacking
Provides a soothing rhythm for the brain
Takeaway:
Rewatching is not laziness. It is a deliberate way of reducing executive load and calming your nervous system.
By choosing shows you already know, you are creating safety and stability in a world that often feels overwhelming.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD
8. Conversation Looping
You may replay conversations in your head over and over, especially if something feels embarrassing or awkward. The loop continues until you have relived the moment enough to let it go.
Why this happens:
RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) often leads to internal “replays” of conversations as a way of analyzing:
What went wrong
Anticipating consequences
Trying to prevent future discomfort
This kind of mental looping can also be a symptom of perseveration - when the brain gets “stuck” on a specific thought or feeling.
Perseveration is more commonly associated with Autism; however, it’s also a common ADHD trait, especially when executive function is compromised and the brain can’t easily transition away from emotional stimuli.
The brain doesn’t always recognize that the situation is over; it’s still trying to “solve” it.
Conversation looping may be connected to:
Hyperactive default mode network (DMN). Dr. Russell Barkley explains that in ADHD, the DMN can pull people into rumination or daydreaming instead of staying present.
Emotional memory storage. Neurodivergent people have challenges holding information long enough to use it. Once the brain shifts into a replay, it cannot easily reconstruct or “erase” what was missed.
Takeaway:
Letting go of these replays often requires interoceptive awareness and self-soothing skills, which can help the brain understand “this moment is over, and I am safe now.”
Techniques like naming the feeling, grounding exercises, or even scripting new endings can help break the loop.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD
9. No Interest in Trends, Celebrities, or Crush Talk
Some people feel excited about celebrities, trends, or crushes, but you may feel neutral. You might not see people as attractive or unattractive, only as humans.
Why this happens:
This reflects the different ways ADHD and Autism process social information.
In Autism, research shows a kind of neurological neutrality toward cultural scripts such as celebrity culture or beauty standards. Dr. Devon Price and Dr. Laura Crane have both written about how autistic people may not automatically adopt these hierarchies.
In ADHD, interest-based attention systems guide focus. Dr. Russell Barkley explains that if gossip or trends do not spark dopamine, they simply do not register as important.
For some individuals, the asocial or asexual spectrum plays a role. Attraction, crushes, or social categories may not feel intuitive, leading to confusion or disinterest in what peers expect.
When parents or peers expect shared excitement about crushes or trends, it can create pressure or misunderstanding.
The reality is that social milestones are not delayed; they are simply experienced differently.
Takeaway:
Seeing people as “just humans” is not a flaw. It is a valid neurotype expression. Instead of trying to match cultural scripts, you can honor the way your brain focuses on what truly matters to you.
Trait = AuDHD (with ADHD overlap)
10. Reading in the Bathtub or Hiding in Closets as a Kid
As a child, you may have read in bathtubs with a pillow or sat in closets. At the time, you might not have met others who did this, but it was a way of creating comfort and safety.
Why this happens:
These behaviors are classic examples of sensory seeking and building self-made regulation spaces.
Dr. Mona Delahooke calls this neuroceptive safety — when the body and brain sense a safe environment without conscious thought.
For Autistic people, Dr. Devon Price, in Unmasking Autism, explains that autistic people often carve out micro-environments where they can control light, sound, temperature, and presence.
Closets and bathtubs work perfectly for this:
They are small, enclosed, and quiet
They reduce sensory input
They are often off-limits to others, which adds privacy
For ADHD, we know that ADHD brains seek dopamine, but they are also vulnerable to overstimulation.
Curling up in a small, contained space acts like a reset. Pairing this with reading creates a flow state, especially with familiar or visual stories.
It is important to remember that retreating does not mean loneliness. For neurodivergent children, solitude and connection can coexist. These spaces were simply a way to recover after sensory overload.
Takeaway:
These behaviors were early signs of self-awareness and adaptive regulation.
What may have looked unusual was actually your brain’s wisdom in action, creating safety long before you had words to explain why you needed it.
Trait = ADHD & AuDHD (strong sensory component)
11. Tuning Out Mid-Conversation After a Triggering Word or Memory
One of the most frustrating and common ADHD experiences is mentally “disappearing” during a conversation.
Someone says a word or phrase that triggers an unrelated memory, and suddenly you realize you’ve missed the last few minutes of what was said.
Why this happens:
Attention Regulation:
Dr. Russell Barkley explains that ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation, which includes the regulation of attention.
When something in the environment (like a word or idea) triggers a thought, the ADHD brain is less able to inhibit that mental detour.
The thought captures your attention before you’ve had time to decide whether it’s worth following. This is an impulsive shift in cognitive direction, not a willful choice.
Default Mode Network (DMN):
In ADHD brains, this is responsible for introspective thought (like memories and self-referential processing), is often overactive in ADHD brains during waking tasks.
In neurotypical individuals, this network quiets down when attention is focused outward, but in ADHD, the suppression of the DMN is inconsistent.
So when you drift, it’s not because you’re rude or disengaged—it’s that your brain literally slipped into a different functional state.
Working Memory:
When your brain jumps to a triggered thought, it loses the thread of the ongoing conversation.
Dr. Thomas Brown refers to this as a deficit in the ability to “hold information in mind” long enough to use it.
Once your mind has wandered, you can’t “rewind” to reconstruct what you missed—because that information was never encoded in the first place.
Takeaway:
This is not rudeness or lack of interest. It is a neurological pattern. Helpful strategies include:
Taking brief notes during conversations
Repeating back what you have heard
Asking clarifying questions when you notice you’ve drifted
These tools support attention and reduce the shame ADHDers often feel in social settings.
Trait = ADHD (with AuDHD overlap)
12. Reflexively Saying “No” to Invitations or Suggestions
You may notice yourself immediately saying “no” to invitations, even when you actually want to say yes. This is often called the “automatic no.”
Why this happens:
The automatic no is a protective reflex that combines executive overload, emotional processing delays, and demand avoidance.
Dr. Sharon Saline, in What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew, explains that unplanned decisions create stress for ADHD brains. A new idea or invitation requires the brain to quickly evaluate effort, risk, and outcome. If this feels overwhelming, “no” becomes the fastest escape.
Dr. Russell Barkley describes ADHD challenges with goal-directed persistence and affect regulation. These make it harder to pause, reflect, and regulate emotions in the moment. Saying no immediately reduces the mental load.
Emotionally, rejection sensitivity also plays a role. Saying yes means risking:
Being late or forgetting
Failing to follow through
Disappointing others
For ADHDers, these risks can feel too costly in the moment, so “no” feels safer.
Takeaway:
The automatic no is not laziness. It is about needing processing time. With space and support, many ADHDers do say yes to things they first rejected.
Giving yourself permission to pause before answering allows your true preferences to emerge.
Trait = ADHD (with AuDHD overlap)
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