YEAH, I SHOULD HAVE A LATE-NIGHT TV SHOW, DONTCHA THINK?

girlwithlandscape : 
 
  “What’s conspicuously missing from late-night, still, is women. How gobsmackingly insane is it that no TV network has had the common sense—and that’s all we’re talking about in 2015, not courage, bravery, or even decency—to hand over the reins of an existing late-night comedy program to a female person? While Amy Schumer has acknowledged that she turned down The Daily Show, happy where she is at Comedy Central, that doesn’t mitigate the fact that Chelsea Peretti, Megan Amram, and Jen Kirkman, to name but three contenders, are alive, sentient, funny, and presumably open to taking a meeting. (And how great would Lea DeLaria be as an M.C., going places Ed McMahon never dared to go? It’d be weird, wild stuff.)”

girlwithlandscape:

“What’s conspicuously missing from late-night, still, is women. How gobsmackingly insane is it that no TV network has had the common sense—and that’s all we’re talking about in 2015, not courage, bravery, or even decency—to hand over the reins of an existing late-night comedy program to a female person? While Amy Schumer has acknowledged that she turned down The Daily Show, happy where she is at Comedy Central, that doesn’t mitigate the fact that Chelsea Peretti, Megan Amram, and Jen Kirkman, to name but three contenders, are alive, sentient, funny, and presumably open to taking a meeting. (And how great would Lea DeLaria be as an M.C., going places Ed McMahon never dared to go? It’d be weird, wild stuff.)”

WOMEN AREN'T HAVING A MOMENT

Here’s a challenge to all people who write press blurbs or introductions to interviews you’ve done with me - because both men and women do this —– you don’t have to put me in context with other women who do comedy right now. You don’t have to mention feminism or that I am a woman. Doing standup is already evidently a feminist thing for a woman to do. Enough already. Nobody writes an article about guys I know and then lists other guys (guys who are nothing like him by the way) and write “Guys are having a moment right now - maybe it’s This Guy’s turn.” Whatever moment another woman is having or women in general has nothing to do with me. I’m a comedian. I’m Jen. I’m not a sociological experiment. I’m not your thesis. I’ve been around for 18 years doing this and as far as I can see getting on stage is always an important moment whether it’s my first open mic or my 2,000th paid gig. Don’t create weird narratives about what women are having what moments. Just write a fucking article that helps to reveal another side of a comedian people know or make me seem interesting to people who don’t know me. I’m just trying to sell tickets here and nothing is less funny to a reader than what should be your grad school paper not a tease to an article about a funny person. Not every article has to rank me in some context of where women in comedy are going, have gone, blah blah. I’m a comic. I’ve never seen myself as a woman in comedy. I’m a woman because that’s the gender I was born into. I’m a comedian because that’s who I am. When you think it’s powerful to harp on gender you’re pointing out your limitations and making them seem like mine. Simply existing in the world and doing what the fuck I want is feminist - whether I am a man or woman. Equality won’t happen until we start just ignoring gender when we write about comedians. If the comedian talks gender in their act or shows - great. Let that speak for itself. Otherwise you’re just whittling someone down to a “moment” that you think an entire gender is having and honestly - that’s just too small of a thought for me.

Here’s a challenge to all people who write press blurbs or introductions to interviews you’ve done with me - because both men and women do this —– you don’t have to put me in context with other women who do comedy right now. You don’t have to mention feminism or that I am a woman. Doing standup is already evidently a feminist thing for a woman to do. Enough already. Nobody writes an article about guys I know and then lists other guys (guys who are nothing like him by the way) and write “Guys are having a moment right now - maybe it’s This Guy’s turn.” Whatever moment another woman is having or women in general has nothing to do with me. I’m a comedian. I’m Jen. I’m not a sociological experiment. I’m not your thesis. I’ve been around for 18 years doing this and as far as I can see getting on stage is always an important moment whether it’s my first open mic or my 2,000th paid gig. Don’t create weird narratives about what women are having what moments. Just write a fucking article that helps to reveal another side of a comedian people know or make me seem interesting to people who don’t know me. I’m just trying to sell tickets here and nothing is less funny to a reader than what should be your grad school paper not a tease to an article about a funny person. Not every article has to rank me in some context of where women in comedy are going, have gone, blah blah. I’m a comic. I’ve never seen myself as a woman in comedy. I’m a woman because that’s the gender I was born into. I’m a comedian because that’s who I am. When you think it’s powerful to harp on gender you’re pointing out your limitations and making them seem like mine. Simply existing in the world and doing what the fuck I want is feminist - whether I am a man or woman. Equality won’t happen until we start just ignoring gender when we write about comedians. If the comedian talks gender in their act or shows - great. Let that speak for itself. Otherwise you’re just whittling someone down to a “moment” that you think an entire gender is having and honestly - that’s just too small of a thought for me.

THE WRAP UP SHOW!

Had so much fun on Howard Stern Wrap Up show today discussing Engagement Chicken. Thanks Jon Hein and Steve Brandano!!  

 I’ll be back on Thursday - tomorrow - May 28th. 11 am. Howard 101 on SIRIUS/XM

Had so much fun on Howard Stern Wrap Up show today discussing Engagement Chicken. Thanks Jon Hein and Steve Brandano!!

I’ll be back on Thursday - tomorrow - May 28th. 11 am. Howard 101 on SIRIUS/XM

BITCH IS THE NEW BEARD

Used to feel self-conscious about having fun and dressing up on stage. Oh no I’m showing my legs and my general chest area!  

 I’ve decided that guys are super comfy no matter what on stage. So shall I be.  

 Bitch is the new Beard.

Used to feel self-conscious about having fun and dressing up on stage. Oh no I’m showing my legs and my general chest area!

I’ve decided that guys are super comfy no matter what on stage. So shall I be.

Bitch is the new Beard.

FIRST PICTURE OF THE FIRST DRAFT OF MY SECOND BOOK

That’s
 right! It’s a screen grab of MY SECOND BOOK and what it looks like on 
the computer all WRITTEN and stuff! Except for a few edits here and 
there/their/they’re (haha fun spelling joke)   Anyway it will be 
out in 2016 and YOU KNOW I WILL BE BOTHERING YOU THIS SUMMER TO 
PRE-ORDER IT. So get in your pre-pre-order mindset. xoxo jen

That’s right! It’s a screen grab of MY SECOND BOOK and what it looks like on the computer all WRITTEN and stuff! Except for a few edits here and there/their/they’re (haha fun spelling joke)

Anyway it will be out in 2016 and YOU KNOW I WILL BE BOTHERING YOU THIS SUMMER TO PRE-ORDER IT. So get in your pre-pre-order mindset. xoxo jen

MY 2015 SYDNEY COMEDY FESTIVAL DEBUT

Sydney! I am only doing my show one night! And I have heard that it’s more than half sold. That means - tickets will start to move faster as we get closer because I am doing a lot of press. So, I think that maybe there won’t be walk up available or too much if you wait. So don’t wait. This isn’t “hype” - I AM KEEPING IT AS REAL AS POSSIBLE WITH YOU GUYS.    Get tickets here:     http://www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au/single-event?show_id=1035

Sydney! I am only doing my show one night! And I have heard that it’s more than half sold. That means - tickets will start to move faster as we get closer because I am doing a lot of press. So, I think that maybe there won’t be walk up available or too much if you wait. So don’t wait. This isn’t “hype” - I AM KEEPING IT AS REAL AS POSSIBLE WITH YOU GUYS.

Get tickets here:

http://www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au/single-event?show_id=1035

MOZ AND BRAND-Y FAN FICTION BY JEN KIRKMAN

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RUSSELL BRAND AND MORRISSEY “FAN FICTION”

I had the pleasure in taking part in a show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival #micf2015 called “Fan Fiction” where comedians read fan fiction that they wrote about…anything.  I’ve never read fan fiction nor written fan fiction in my life.  I wasn’t sure if I was “doing it right” but it turned out super fun at the show - mostly probably because of my terrible Morrissey and RB impressions.  Oh, I wrote fan fiction about something I would like to see happen - the break up of Morrissey and Russell Brand’s friendship.  That’s right.  I’m jealous.  

I am re-printing it here for your reading pleasure. 

Russell brand walks into a slick dark bar and meets his friend Morrissey in a corner velvet boot.

M:    Shut up, Russell.

RB:  Morrissey, I haven’t even parted my lips to begin taking a breath intended to help words come out of my mouth and you’re telling me to ‘shut up, Russell?’

M:    You’re boring me. Russell. Now I know how horses fall asleep standing up. Sssh. Don’t talk.

RB:  I’m fine with not talking but I would say that the mere expression of our bodies, here sitting on the same bench is indeed a conversation in itself. As our breath breathes for us, our hearts beat and our pulse travels around sometimes we feel it in our chest sometimes…. other areas.  Like, when I see that cocktail waitress and I know that if I wanted to I could look at her in a certain way and have a conversation about what kind of sparkling water I want.  But using my eyes that are not unlike Charles Manson’s I can subliminally convince her that later tonight my sweaty, leather pants will be draped on her bedroom floor.

M:    Russell. I’m bored of you. You’re not ordering a sparkling water because we’re not staying here.  I just wanted to tell you, in person, that our little game of friendship is over.  I fold.

RB:  Why, Morrissey?  Why?

M:    I’m realizing that you amused me and I liked to play with people’s perceptions of me.  Here is this brooding celibate homosexual hanging out with a gregarious, heterosexual man in extraordinary situations like Vanity Fair Oscar parties yet resigning ourselves to a corner where people wondered, “What are THEY talking about?”  I’m over that fascination.

RB:  But Morrissey we’ve got so much in common. I have a Messiah Complex, as do you.

M:    No Russell.. I am the Messiah. YOU are both a snake oil salesman and a snake.  I just read your second book and I can’t believe that you get away with saying such trite things like, “God is in the mountains impassive, immovable, jagged giants, separating the celestial from the terrestrial. The mountains remind me of my place, as a servant to truth and wonder. Yes, God is in the mountains. Perhaps the pulpit too and even in the piety of an atheist’s sigh. I don’t know; but I feel him in the mountains.”

I wrote a song called “I Have Forgiven Jesus.  Have you ever heard of such a thing? A human forgiving Jesus for making them gay?  It’s delightful and It’s revolutionary.  And simple and honest.  No one comprehends mountains.  They only think they do but everyone sees God in their own shortcomings.

“But Jesus hurt me
When He deserted me, but
I have forgiven Jesus
For all of the love
He placed in me when there’s no one
I can turn to with this love

Why did you give me so much desire
When there is nowhere I can go to offload this desire?
And why did you give me so much love in a loveless world
When there is no one I can turn to
To unlock all this love?
And why did you stick me in self-deprecating bones and skin?
Jesus do you hate me?
Why did you stick me in self-deprecating bones and skin?
Do you hate me?”

RB:  Well Morrissey, I’m not you.  I don’t have the access to poetry that you do.  I use my body as part of my communication.

M:    Let me stop you there.  I know. I see you slink around with your necklaces that are now dragging on the floor.  Are you trying to outdo Madonna’s Rosary from 1985?  Who is shocked by some prayer beads?  And your body is a scrawny, argument against vegetarianism.  What are women exactly wrapping themselves around when they’re with you? Your ego? 

RB:  I named my tuxedo cat after you!

M:    I’m sure many teenaged girls and post punk adult women have named their cats after me, and you don’t see me giving them the time of day. I was taken with you, Russell.  I begun blowing off Nancy Sinatra seeing her as too simple – when in actuality, I miss sitting around with her watching The Golden Girls on DVD. 

RB:  Ah, the Golden Girls.  Not just a sitcom a critical analysis of feminism in sexuality and sexuality in older women and the friendships forged after men are no longer in the picture as men are the weaker sex and that is the most subversive—-

M:    Russell, Bea Arthur had a deep voice and Sophia always carried her purse even to the kitchen.  That makes me laugh.  You don’t need to over analyze everything.  

RB:  If I’m not analyzing, what am I doing?

M:    Hopefully taking a nap and resting your insatiable urge to be interesting.  The difference between you and a teenaged girl is a teenaged girl will eventually tire of herself and she’ll either take her own life or just get older. 

Russell is silenced.

The cocktail waitress approaches. Morrissey, on his way up and out, addresses the waitress.

M:  “Get him what he desires but please don’t give him what he wants.”

END SCENE AND FRIENDSHIP!

WRAP UP SHOW WITH MR. BABA BOOEY AND MR. HEIN

Hey! Just did the Howard Stern Wrap Up show with Gary Dell'Abate and Jon Hein. It was so fun I am coming back to do it live in studio tomorrow!! Thursday Feb 25th. Same time. Tune in 11 am Howard 100. Today was definitely a “noine”

Hey! Just did the Howard Stern Wrap Up show with Gary Dell'Abate and Jon Hein. It was so fun I am coming back to do it live in studio tomorrow!! Thursday Feb 25th. Same time. Tune in 11 am Howard 100. Today was definitely a “noine”

AH MEMORIES WITH SCOTT AUKERMAN

Proud to be mentioned by my pal Scott Aukerman in this interview - in a memory I had forgotten but I always love to remember when I get mad at friends and fellow performers. Ha! :) 
  “ZG: Have those been posted online anywhere?   

 
  SA: You know what? I played one of them at a UCB show in L.A.  Jen Kirkman had a show where comedians were supposed to play embarrassing things from early on in their career or from when they were children, and I brought that in and I played it, and she got really mad at me  and said, ‘You’re supposed to bring something you’re embarrassed by. Not something you would do today!” So I guess my sense of humor hasn’t progressed that much from when I was 15.”  

 Full fun interview that is NOT about me  here.

Proud to be mentioned by my pal Scott Aukerman in this interview - in a memory I had forgotten but I always love to remember when I get mad at friends and fellow performers. Ha! :)

“ZG: Have those been posted online anywhere?

SA: You know what? I played one of them at a UCB show in L.A. Jen Kirkman had a show where comedians were supposed to play embarrassing things from early on in their career or from when they were children, and I brought that in and I played it, and she got really mad at me and said, ‘You’re supposed to bring something you’re embarrassed by. Not something you would do today!” So I guess my sense of humor hasn’t progressed that much from when I was 15.”

Full fun interview that is NOT about me here.

LISTENERS WEIGH IN ON MY PODCAST "I SEEM FUN"

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World! I have a podcast.  It’s called “I Seem Fun; The Diary of Jen Kirkman Podcast”.  I release it weekly (most of the time).  It’s just me, sitting at home alone talking.  It’s not scripted.  It’s sometimes super personal.  I cried once.  Sometimes I’m grumpy.  Sometimes I’m funny.  And I read listener emails.  A wonderful little community of strangers from around the world have found each other through this podcast.

I have listeners all over America and the world -seriously! From North Carolina to Cameroon.

It’s my favorite thing to do - even though I don’t make any money doing it.  I don’t promote it that much.  My feeling is that you can’t force a podcast on anyone.  Everyone’s earbud needs are so different.  Some people prefer interviews and not one woman talking.  But every once in a while I make it known it’s there - just in case you WOULD like it but don’t know about it.

It’s not reviewed weekly by the coveted Onion AV Club like some of the cool podcasts are but they did say this once, “ “What [makes “I Seem Fun”] funny is Kirkman’s inherent knack for cultivating conflict even talking into a microphone in a room by herself. Whether she’s dissecting a negative iTunes review from an angry Christian or seriously considering a class action suit against Robin Thicke for being gross, Kirkman is eternally embattled but she tempers her cynicism with sweetness and, more often than not, she’s right.” - The AV Club”

The podcast has afforded people to find out more about me and I always love meeting listeners at my shows. The podcast even introduced people to my stuff and allowed me to tour internationally. 

If you’re looking for a new podcast to listen to - why not see what I Seem Fun listeners have said - and if you want in on the private jokes they wrote in these photos….you’ll just have to listen!

Check out the past 80 episodes HERE

I Seem Fun is a part of the