THE FIRST EVER LIVE TAPING OF I SEEM FUN IN BROOKLYN

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Hello Brooklyn!

I am taping and performing my podcast “I Seem Fun; The Diary of Jen Kirkman” LIVE ON STAGE for the first time ever!  I selected NYC to do this because #1 Most of my listeners live there and #2 I performed at the Bell House on my book tour in April and it was a huge hit. So, I’m hoping you’ll come back.

Details are in the photos above or you can click here to buy tickets.  It’s Thursday, November 7th at 8pm. (Doors 7:30pm) at the Bell House in Brooklyn.

Here’s why you should:

1)  My podcast (if you haven’t heard it) isn’t a bunch of people on stage talking over each other.  It’s just me. Sitting in my bed telling stories off of the top of my head. It’s perfect to recreate live. I’ll be without a net, just talking and improvising. And yes, I AM BRINGING A BED to sit on.

2)  One of the themes of my podcast is that I’m probably not that “fun” of a person - as I’m often accused by people I know - because I don’t like to stay out all night or do shots or listen to popular music.  But through doing this podcast, I have received hilarious emails from people who detail their strange habits, hobbies and things they find fun that other people think is weird.  So - I will have people come up live on stage to tell their weird things.

3)  You don’t need to be a regular listener to enjoy this show - it won’t even seem like a podcast. It will seem like Jen doing an hour of made up stand-up.

4)  If you didn’t get your book signed last April, I will happily sign it after the show.

5)  I will have a fun person at the beginning of the show to do something fun before I come out.

I hope you can make it! Tell everyone. I don’t have a giant publicity train-a-coming.  And if you want to get familiar with the podcast - you can start now! Just click…..http://jenkirkman.com/i-seem-fun

SOHO THEATRE DEBUT - LONDON 2013

London. You guys are one of the only cities I am performing in where the venue allows teenagers. So all you 16+—ers out there, *throw your homework onto the fire and come out and find the one you love!* MONDAY SEPTEMBER 23rd at 9:30pm every night thru SATURDAY SEPT 28th. TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

London. You guys are one of the only cities I am performing in where the venue allows teenagers. So all you 16+—ers out there, *throw your homework onto the fire and come out and find the one you love!*


MONDAY SEPTEMBER 23rd at 9:30pm every night thru SATURDAY SEPT 28th.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

IN TOUCH MAGAZINE GRADES MY BOOK

The esteemed literary journal “In Touch Magazine” has given my book a B+. You need any more endorsement than that?? jenkirkman.com/book

The esteemed literary journal “In Touch Magazine” has given my book a B+. You need any more endorsement than that??
jenkirkman.com/book

JEN KIRKMAN INTERVIEW IN "THE SMOKING JACKET"

I talk to The Smoking Jacket website about the delusional way I started in comedy, how I don’t think I’m “alternative” and how it helps to be crazy when you’re young.

“I think every comedian has this feeling when you know you really want to do it, you think you’re going to be so good and that you don’t have to start small….”

(This is a good interview for people who always ask how to get started in comedy. I literally have no answer but my own journey…)

**OH ONE THING TO ADD - THEY HAVE A MORE THAN 4 YEAR OLD CLIP OF MY STAND-UP ON HERE SO SOME LIFE SITUATIONS DISCUSSED MAY NO LONGER APPLY***

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BOOK RIOT REVIEW OF "I CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF"

http://bookriot.com/2013/02/08/inboxoutbox-february-8-2013/

Tank you Rebecca Joines Schinsky of Book Riot for the kind words!

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“I Can Barely Take Care of Myself by Jen Kirkman (Simon & Schuster, April 16)–I dove into this as soon as it arrived a couple weeks ago and have been reading it in snippets in between the Big Serious Literature I’m reading for the TOB. Jen Kirkman, a happily childfree comedian, covers the trials, tribulations, and social suffering (like having perfect strangers tell you that you’re selfish) that come with being a woman in her 30s who doesn’t want to have kids. And HOO BOY does she nail it. Neither a rant nor a polemic, the book is funny but very pointed. I happen to think it’s pointed in all the right places, and I sincerely hope it will reach readers beyond the obvious preaching-to-the-choir demographic. If you’re childfree by choice or trying to make sense (or be sensitive) of people who are, put a circle around April 16 on your calendar and pick this one up.”

DAVE GROHL BOTHERING ME AT WORK

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You really have to watch Chelsea Lately tonight (Thursday Dec 6th at 11pm on E!)

Dave Grohl is the guest-host.

Roundtable guests: Me, Kurt Braunohler & Ross Matthews

WHEN "I CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF" WAS FINALLY DONE

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jakefogelnest:

jenkirkman:

Hello world!

I have written a book.  It is called “I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids.” It’s coming out April 2013 through Simon and Schuster.  Why is that so long from now, you ask? I don’t know.  Something about marketing and seasons and stapling takes a long, long time.

My book is an intentionally funny (whether you find it to be is up to you and I’m sure with social media, you’ll let me know) memoir about my life as someone who never wanted kids but never thought it was weird or something she had to talk about – until people started asking…..”do you want kids?” and didn’t stop asking other personal questions after my initial “no” answer.  I don’t hate kids.  I’m not immature.  I just – never think about it.  And no, I don’t plan to change my mind.

Anyway – when you write and sell a book it has a hook and that’s my hook, but it’s sincere.  But the book is about all kinds of things – failing at love and failing at pulling off a pixie cut, fighting with my parents for having sex with a boyfriend at age 21, starting out in stand-up comedy, babysitting for a kid who told me he wanted to commit murder, leaving boyfriends who wanted me to quit working and have their baby, getting married to someone who didn’t want kids, divorcing, getting picked on as a kid, feeling weird at adult afternoon birthday parties, being intimidated by kids at the adult pool, gaining 40 pounds, losing 40 pounds, being on TV, working a million weird jobs, traveling, anxiety, Klonopin, feeling like an oddball at family functions and more. It’s the story of a person – a person who just doesn’t happen to have or want kids and wants to explain what that kind of life might look like so that all the people asking, “Do you think you’ll change your mind?” will finally maybe understand why.

It’s on pre-sale right now – and although it won’t be in your hands until April 2013, the sales numbers will be in the hands of the people who I’d love to prove to – that people are interested. That’s the honest truth.  I’ve always been honest about this shit.  It’s not about the money – it’s about getting them not to panic and hopefully making sure this is enough of a hit that I get to write another book….. because I guess I’m in the mood to pull my hair out, wander my apartment and stare at my computer again…..

It’s available for pre-order at a NICE SALE PRICE right now in these various forms:

Feel free to pass this on to friends!

PAPERBACK ON AMAZON

KINDLE

BARNES & NOBLE (PAPERBACK)

NOOK

APPLE i BOOKSTORE

This book is out in six months. It’s hilarious and wonderful. If you are a fan of Jen’s, pre-order it. If you’re not a fan of Jen’s, just what in the hell is the matter with you?! You should go jump in a LAKE with that attitude. I mean, seriously…

Here’s how pre-orders work: they don’t charge you until they ship you the book. That’s how you get to take advantage of the super cheap pre-order price. THIS IS AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR FUTURE.

Book pre-orders are important in the world of publishing. It is part of a global conspiracy which I’m sure Oprah’s boyfriend Stedman has some sort of involvement with. I can’t prove it, but I have a hunch.

Jen’s book is fantastic and a commitment to purchase today really helps with promotion and all that stuff. We’re all in this together, right? Right.

Thank you for enjoying the Internet today! 

REBLOGGING A REBLOG OF MY BLOG.  WHAT? I CAN DO THAT. THERE ARE NO RULES! - JEN

I WASN'T ALWAYS DOING WHAT I LOVED - JOBS I HAVE HAD

I made a list of every job I have worked that wasn’t stand-up or something in TV - starting at age 14. Most of these jobs I worked between the ages of 21-34 as I was doing stand-up for free at night and trying to get things going.

Always be willing to get money however you can while you do what you want for free.

JOBS I HAVE HAD

  1. Baby-sitter
  2. Grocery store clerk at Roche Bros
  3. Scooping ice cream at Baskin Robbins
  4. Waitress at the Needham Golf Club
  5. Assistant teacher at a dance school
  6. Barista at a coffee shop (lasted three days)
  7. Ticket salesperson at Emerson Majestic Theatre
  8. Waitress at a restaurant in Boston (lasted two months)
  9. Worked at the Emerson College Library
  10. Usher at Blue Man Group
  11. Ticket office at Boston Ballet
  12. Group Sales associate at Broadway in Boston
  13. Temp at DKNY
  14. Temp job where I put chocolates in gift wrap for a private party
  15. Temp job at an investment firm
  16. Temp job at a nursing school administrative office
  17. Cold Calling for Aires Magazine
  18. Blogger for a now defunct online magazine Funkytalk.com
  19. Exec Administrative Assistant at an internet start-up
  20. Temp job as an event planner at a financial company in NYC
  21. Temp job at Glamour magazine
  22. Waitress at Wilshire Country Club
  23. Temp job at doctor’s office as a receptionist
  24. Temp job at a real estate firm filing claims
  25. Temp job as a receptionist at a law firm
  26. Receptionist at a chiropractor’s office
  27. Administrative assistant & bookkeeper to a sound engineer for television
  28. Assistant at a cosmetic company
  29. Web content producer at Lifetime Television
  30. Transcriber for individual journalists
  31. Transcriber for reality tv shows
  32. Blogger at suicidegirls.com
  33. Self employed house cleaner

MY DAD ON WHY WOMEN ARE FUNNIER THAN MEN

I was emailing with my dad last night and telling him about Adam Carolla’s comments that “dudes are funnier than chicks,”  “they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff.” 

My dad is in his seventies, was raised in the working class town of Lawrence, Massachusetts in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s and probably hasn’t taken one women’s studies class in his life - he technically is not your typical candidate for being more of a feminist than I am.

My dad gets livid at these stupid comments about women and he put his thoughts down in an email to me. Again - this is a guy from the generation where women WERE barefoot and pregnant and he is HORRIFIED at how backwards things seem to be going and the way that men of my generation treat their sisters. If more men were like my dad, girls wouldn’t ever have to feel like second class citizens. Love you Big Ron!

(So, I say to you young men who SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BETTER below is an email from a man who isn’t afraid of women….. my dad re: Adam Carolla and the whole “women aren’t funny thing”)

“Jen,


These modern day men that think women are not funny and this guy that has come forward and said comedy is a man’s game and that women are not good comedy writers or comedians, I take with a grain of salt. This "pretty famous guy” sounds like he’s from the Middle East.

I ask you, what would “I Love Lucy” be without Lucille Ball. Sid Caesar show without Imogene Cocoa. Mary Tyler Moore Show without Mary Tyler Moore. Laugh In without Ruth Buzzi or Goldie Hawn. George Burns Show without Gracie Allen. Mama’s Family without Carol Burnett and Vicky Lawrence. And The Carol Burnett show without Carol Burnett. Whitney Cummings new show. Chelsea Lately Show without Chelsea Handler and the female comedians. These are a few shows that come to mind. Another thing, these ladies were and are all good Business Managers.

Comedy is not only a man’s game but also a women’s game. Always remember, women understand men but men do not understand women. Therefore, men are taking a back seat and they don’t appreciate that. This is America and people are entitled say what they want - right, wrong or indifferent. Women are usually right more than men.

When some guy says as a rule comedy is a man’s game really irks me. I’ll tell you why. This guy  probably feels that doctors and lawyers is a man’s game. Politicians is a man’s game. They probably still think that women should be kept in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. By the same token he probably feels that only women should be teachers and not men, only women should be stewardess and not men, only women should be nurses and not men. You get the picture.

It’s a good thing these guys weren’t running our country during WWII. Women ran our factories in producing all our war material and even flew planes from America overseas to foreign countries for our pilots to fly in combat. Women even started the professional women’s baseball team during the war.

I have seen a lot of comedy shows at the MGM and the Foxwoods Theater at Foxwoods Casino. I personally think women comedians are as equal to men comedians if not better than their male counterpart. I personally would rather attend  a show with female comedians  than male comedians. - Love, Dad"

TAKING DOWN BOYS ON ONION AV CLUB'S MESSAGE BOARDS

I never read message board comments.  I don’t read reviews.  I don’t Google my name.  I am sure people say terrible things all the time (and nice things) but I can’t live or die by either sword.  My life is so peaceful and happy ignoring all that could possibly be written.  I have stopped looking at message boards and all that stuff - I haven’t in…I think almost two years? 

But someone showed me that the AV CLUB POD MASS wrote a delightful thing about my recent appearance on the Pod F. Tompkast. And I fucking read the comment section - was NOT looking for things about me, was just kind of zoned out and kept reading what people were discussing in the comment fields under the article and saw some pretty presumptuous stuff written about me.

I’d like to respond to some of the awful things said and then I’ll be done. Please don’t tell me to have an attitude of “fuck the haters.” Trust me. I’m busy and I don’t pay much mind to what people say but these particular comments bothered me mostly because it’s lazy people making assumptions about alcohol/drug abuse, body image issues and the legitimacy of my career and I want to correct them.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/week-of-feb-28,69161/

Captain Dada (http://www.avclub.com/users/captain-dada,92623/) wrote in the comment section:

“I honestly think that she is pretty messed up, based on WTF and PFT interviews. She probably drinks too much, is too concerned about her image, pops a lot of Xanax, etc. So I guess that does make her a comedienne.”

Dear, Captain Dada. I am not messed up. I don’t drink too much. Some weeks I don’t drink. I never have to control my drinking.  I never think about it. I’m pretty health  conscious and drinking tends to make it worse - also it makes me break out.  Also, I hate hangovers and I will get one if I have more than 3 drinks.  So I’m pretty low to moderate. I get wasted every once in a while and usually funny stories happen from the few times a year that happens.  I am NOT AT ALL concerned about my “image.” WHAT IMAGE? I do not have a prescription for Xanax. I work more than 50 hours a week. I get up at 6:30 am every day because I’m writing a book (that I sold and it comes out in 2013) - I also work 40 hours a week as a TV writer. And I do stand-up at night sometimes and go on the road. Xanax wouldn’t really help me with that.

I was clinically depressed and suffered from panic disorder as a teen and in my 20’s. Through anti-depressants and 15 years of therapy I no longer suffer.  I have not been on anti-depressants in five years and I only have a prescription for Klonopin - which my doctor will only refill a couple of times a year and I take a negligible 0.5 milligrams when I fly to ward off any panic attacks. So, please take this as a rebuttal to your horrible accusations. Love, Jen

Yabels wrote in the comment section: (http://www.avclub.com/users/yabels,51708/)

“I haven’t heard any of Kirkman’s comedy aside from Drunk History and her podcast appearances. Also Twitter. She does seem like a fun person, but she seems like a "pal of comics” as opposed to a legitimate comic herself.

Dear Yabels,

I seem like a "fun” person, you seem like a a judgmental person. So, I don’t seem like a legit comic myself - yet you admit you’ve never seen or purchased my comedy.  I have been doing stand-up since 1997. I have two comedy albums “Self Help” and “Hail to the Freaks” (which debuted at #13 on the Billboard Charts) I got my start in Boston and then proceeded to work in NYC as a stand-up for years, and finally moved to Los Angeles in 2001. I’ve appeared on more than handfuls of late-night TV shows DOING STAND-UP COMEDY.  For the past 7 years I’ve been on the road, working in comedy clubs, rock clubs and theatres as a feature and headliner.  Legit comics are the only people who can do this. I’m a TV comedy writer and also an actor.  I perform all over town all the time.  I haven’t had a non-showbiz day job in five years. You are right about one thing - I AM a fun person and you’ll never get to hang out with me. The reason I’m a “pal of comics” is because comedians are friends with one another.  Would you accuse a man of just being “a friend of comedians?” Just wondering… Love, Jen

Michael Clayton, ESQ http://www.avclub.com/users/michael-clayton-esq,90125 wrote in the comment section:

She has a lot of anxiety and body image issues, and she doesn’t seem to have many “street smarts”. Her first few Tomcast stories were mostly about her falling for the most transparent scams.

Dear Michael Clayton ESQ,

It is spelled, “Tompkast” - also the stories about me falling for scams - I believe you are referring to a rinky-dink acting class I took at age 11 (not a scam) and a scam job I fell for at age 24 as a young woman in New York City.  I’m sorry that when you were 11 you never did anything dumb.  And I’m sorry you never had the balls to move to NYC alone (having never even visited there first) to follow your dreams. Someday if you take risks, you might find yourself falling a little here and there.

I don’t have body image issues.  I like trying to stay thin. So kill me.  You might be referring to one of my bits I did on the Tompkast as well as my album.  I went through a weird time a few years ago where I gained 40 pounds.  Not sure if you’ve ever gained 40 pounds but it doesn’t feel good. I had some funny stories to tell about what it took to lose the 40 pounds and I’m now at a healthy weight and don’t stress too much about it.  But I thank you for putting that gross misinterpretation of me on the internet.  Also - you need a real profile picture.  Love, Jen

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With that I will go back to my many year streak of not reading comment sections. And in the future if a nice article is sent my way, I will find another way to read it so I don’t even see comments.

In closing, I hope you all someday get to enjoy the joys of lots of sex and being a pretty-in-certain-circles, older lady who gets paid to be funny.

Love,

Jen

pps - Let me make abundantly clear - I am more than fine with people not finding me funny. That is to be expected! You’d be shocked at people that I don’t find funny, etc. We all have our tastes. But I’ll never understand the culture of boys writing slanderous opinions of women they don’t know on the internet.

Oh! And….YOU SEEM FUN!

Don't Read Emails You Wrote At Age 25

When my nana passed away this past spring - my immediate and extended family promptly ransacked her house for goodies. I found a drawer - in her really ornate 1970’s side table - a bunch of “Jen Kirkman” memorabilia…horribly embarassing headshots, newspaper clippings of me on a pony in my childhood and various emails that I had sent my mom, who apparantly printed them and shared with nana.

One such email that I wrote in 2000 caused me to cringe so much I had to be removed from my floor by the jaws of life. My injuries are minor except I have a slight film of douche-bag on me that I’m not sure can be removed anytime soon.

I had a job in the year 2000 that was pretty sweet. I was hired to travel the country in a van but sleep in nice hotels and eat in nice restaurants when not driving in said van. I was with a few producers and other writers. We ate oysters and drank cocktails on Miami Beach, staged a parade in New Orleans and ended up spending 2 weeks in all parts of California, from podunk military towns that wouldn’t let us go to their karaoke nights - to a wild week on the Sunset Strip.

What the hell kind of job is this? It was one of those internet start-up companies. Our bosses, who were not wrong - just too early, knew that the next phase of the internet was watching video. I thought that was absurd since I had a crap laptop and it took so long to download email, I just called people. But I realized that these guys were millionaires for a reason and I was not…for a reason.

We had a web-TV show that was like Road Rules meets The Real World. We pulled stunts and pranks around America while revealing our personal selves and interactions with each other via short web videos and blogs - before they were called blogs.

Obviously, my bosses were right. People do this shit now. But they didn’t then. And after our first round of investments, no one else would sink their money into us and we were all let go over a case of beer one Friday afternoon. I had trouble understanding. When were we let go? Right now? Like, right this second? But, I thought you guys had millions? Oh, you personally do but can’t bankrupt yourselves on a business model that is ahead of it’s time? Should I have been paying attention to all of the news coming out of Wall Street, considering I worked…at a dot-com, on fucking Wall Street????

So, week one of this job - we were all flying high. Promises were being made and smarter people were hoping the promises were real but knowing how business works. I didn’t know how anything worked. So I wrote this email to my mom…(I included only the most cringe parts, which is most of it.) Oh, and the email is titled, “For Those Who Doubt…”

“Hey, well, it turns out the two 27 year olds who run the company are worth three HUNDRED million, not thirty million as previously thought. They are extremely well-known in the web world so their connections are helping out our press. We are pretty sure we are going to get written up (I don’t know if it will be an article or a blurb) in Time Magazine.

For our trip we are getting equipped with cell-phones, laptop computers and a little device, which I guess is a mini laptop but it’s as small as a phone and you can type on it - from even a mountaintop! The GAP is totally going to sponsor us, so we will get free clothes.

Also, it looks pretty good that a better website or even a TV "network” on the web will buy us, which would mean a lot of $$$ for us, as in retiring early. It’s business stuff that I’m not too sure about except that it will mean BIGGER paychecks.

I am not in any way saying this will become a hit web and TV show but this is all about connections, if the show fails we have made definite TV connections so we are totally safe.  I am writing this so you can tell your friends when they say, “Well…I never heard of it.”

If this company were to fail, it would be nearly impossible and only due to a literal disaster like an earthquake or flood…or something else that I don’t even know what. It’s as solid as anything else.

Love, Jen"

CRINGE!!!!!!!!!!